The Commish Online                                                                                
And just whose idea was it to put on a game of half (three quarters?) naked women running, diving and rolling around an indoor arena as an alternative to highlights we will have already seen eight times?  Dodge, the automotive company that produces the “RAM” truck was the original sponsor.  This company, who recently aired an ad featuring two men standing at a urinal taking about how size, ostensibly of their hemi engines, mattered, decided that this soft core extravaganza would have great appeal to the male 18-34 demographic.  An estimated four million homes, not counting sports bars, were expected to tune in at twenty bucks a pop, with proceeds to go to AIDS research.

More interesting is that fact that this gimmick was dreamed up by a female marketing executive.  Julie Roehm, a 33 year-old mother of two correctly surmised that the best way to get a larger share of the perpetually horny (read: young male) market was with titillation.  It took a woman to figure this out?  Say what you want about chauvinism and the old boy network; women use sex all the time to get what they want, and they know that sex sells.  It was the perfect marketing ploy.

Not unexpectedly, women’s organizations went absolutely gonzo.  One young woman was quoted in news reports as saying "I am absolutely disgusted by the way women are portrayed in our so-called modern society.  Having a bunch of women running around a football field in thongs is absolutely inexcusable.  I’ll say it one more time: we are not sex symbols for a bunch of testosterone-filled apes to drool over."

Of course, I seriously doubt this young woman was invited to play in the game in the first place, and I would lay good money that not many of us “testosterone-filled apes” would do much drooling over her.

And one might also wonder where this woman’s self righteous indignation is during weekly doses of 25 women slutting themselves out for a chance at big bucks on “The Bachelor”.  At least the Lingerie Bowl is honest in its intent.  It makes no bones about offering up a little T&A for fun and profit.

Regardless, the backlash from feminist, as well as conservative, organizations caused Dodge to rethink its sponsorship.  Instead of using the event to promote the RAM, they decided to pull out, which, if you have ever seen a porn video, seemed to be an appropriate response.  The AIDS research group also declined to be identified with the show.  How strange is that?  They support parades with men marching bare ass in leather chaps, spiked dog collars and feather boas, but they turn down money from good old fashioned soft core hetero porn?  Hmmmm…. 

Was this the end of the Lingerie Bowl?  Hardly. (I’ll skip the ironic remark here) picked up the ball and ran with it.  And our aforementioned young woman had another take on the development. "Last month we successfully pressured Dodge to stop their support of the event, but apparently the Lingerie people found someone else, some kind of poker website if I’m not mistaken, which by the way is another vile male activity.”

Vile male activity?  Wow.  Can you feel the love?  How’d you like to be the man in her life?  You’re right.  There probably isn’t one, and I am sure that has a lot to do with her attitude.

I have played on, and I hate to break it to this young woman, but I have noticed a lot of females seem to like that “vile activity” as much as males.  For those of you looking for something to fill your need to gamble after football season, I’d highly recommend it.

What were we talking about?  Oh yeah.  Semi nude-women playing football.  Here is my breakdown of Lingerie Bowl I:

Team Euphoria (Pick) –v- Team Dream  o/u  38C

Well, a quick breakdown of this game shows that both teams will be somewhat weak in the downfield passing attack.  Look for a lot of fumbles and a lot of, hopefully, scrambling for the ball.  I myself will be praying for more than a couple “illegal use of hands” penalties, with maybe a “backfield in motion” thrown in here and there.  If I was forced to pick a winner, I’d go with the SPORTS BARS because every last one of them will be airing this event.  If there is one thing drunken young men like more than a good football game, it’s a good football game with (mostly) naked chicks during halftime.  And as for the total, from the posters and pictures that I have seen, I’d bet the house, the car, and my kids college funds that OVER 38C will win in a romp.

One last thing.  Regarding who will win the ratings for halftime?  Well, since most of us will either be pounding beer and munchies or draining such in the nearest restroom, I’d guess the majority of households won’t switch channels.  Go ahead and bet $100 on CBS.  You’ll win enough to cover the cost of the Lingerie show. 

Happy viewing…

Questions/comments/tomato throwing may be directed to
Lingerie Bowl
(a Capper’s Corner Special Edition)
January 30, 2004
by Dana Harris
While researching proposition bets for this week’s Capper’s Corner Super Bowl Column, this jumped out at me:

Super Bowl XXXVIII Halftime TV Ratings: Which show will receive higher ratings?

CBS Halftime Show      1.2:1
Lingerie Bowl   4:1

Lingerie Bowl?  Oh, man!  Why didn’t I see this when I was looking for filler last week during the lull that is the first week between Conference Championships and the big game?

For those of you that haven’t heard about it, The Lingerie Bowl is a pay-per-view event consisting of a couple dozen scantily clad model/actress types playing a seven on seven game of “tackle” football during the halftime of Super Bowl XXXVIII.  What they will actually be wearing is debatable.  The original ads promised a kind of Fredricks of Hollywood look, but I have heard there could be changes that may even include shoulder pads and helmets.  Ugh!
2 gridiron "warriors" ready for action this Sunday!