The Commish Online                                                                                
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April 24, 2003

After a long hiatus, Foul Territory is finally back with the foulest of territorial infringements.  Last night, while heading to my car after work, I noticed that one of the doors was bashed in, obviously from someone backing up or plowing into it.  No note, no one around, nothing.  Does anything anger a person more?  Well, maybe the way the networks shuffle around the shows during sweeps periods just to attract better ratings, but that's another story for another day.

What angers me most is the utter disregard for someone else's property.  I can only assume that this person didn't have insurance.  If you can't afford car insurance, then sell your car and buy a nice mountain bike, because it's a law.  Why is it a law?  To make sure people don't crunch my car and drive off.  It's a way of saying "Don't worry, moronic driver.  These small monthly payments will help INSURE you in case you accidentally smash someone's car door in the middle of an empty parking lot."  If this person can afford insurance but just didn't feel it necessary, then he needs to be found, taken into a back room and beaten with an Ignorant Stick.  If this person has insurance and just didn't want his premiums to go up, then I need 10 minutes in a dark room with him.

Granted, I do not drive the flashiest of cars.  It's a '94 Ford Taurus, but it's mine, it runs great, and I take pride in it.  Unfortunately, the unknown driver's successful target practice knocked off about $500 on my trade in value.  That doesn't sound like much until you realize it's about 33% of the B.S. (Before Smash) value.  The stylish 4-door sedan still runs fine and the door is functioning properly, so it doesn't pay to fix it or report it to my insurance.  The problem is that every woman in my life is already saying "You can't possibly drive that thing now," so I can either trade it in or sell it, buy something new, and drive my wallet into further debt, or I can keep it and get nagged until the day the car stops running.  Anyone want a slightly bruised 1994 Ford Taurus with 86,000 miles that still runs like a dream?  $2000 or best offer!  Contact me ASAP!!!