The Commish Online                                                                                
McGriddles?  McGross!
July 7, 2003

If you have been anywhere near a radio or television the past month, you have undoubtedly heard of McDonald’s newest creation, McGriddles.  McGriddles are basically McMuffins, but instead of an English muffin as the “bun,” a McGriddle uses a syrup injected pancake-like material to hold the sandwich together.  The taste?  As bad as it sounds.

Even the commercials advertise the breakfast sandwich as “bizarre.”  I am not a man of an exotic palette, but I don’t know anyone who enjoys bizarre tasting food.  Good?  Yes.  Unique?  Yes.  Bizarre?  No.  God no.

Just thinking about the overindulgent combination makes me cringe.  Eggs, cheese, bacon or sausage, pancakes, and syrup.  On their own, each can be a tasty way to start the day, but when combined into such a foul conglomeration, the results are similar to buying a striped car because you can’t choose between the red or the white.  When you sit down to some scrambled eggs, have you ever thought of pouring maple syrup on them?  When enjoying some pancakes hot off the griddle with syrup pouring over the sides, has it ever crossed your mind to toss a couple eggs on top?  If you answered “yes” to these questions, then run out now and buy yourself a sack of McGriddles.  The rest of us will manage while those three people find their nearest Micky D’s.

How this mad experiment made it past all the taste testers, marketers, advertisers, and executives at McDonald’s is beyond me.  I’m guessing some vice president felt insecure that all of his customers couldn’t enjoy all of McDonald’s morning offerings all the time, so he decided to offer everything in one package.  I urge you to ban this product, or its success will bring other offerings such as the McJavawich or the OJ Soaked Pancake.

McDonald’s breakfast is an American institution that shouldn’t be fooled with under any circumstances.  Find yourself some golden arches, order a Big Breakfast or a McMuffin and express your displeasure over the ugliest creation since TV’s Barney.  God Bless America.